We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
What action can I take that will help me along in the process of coming to believe? There is a habit I am trying to establish that involves meditation every day with the Earth and Her fertility. There are things out there that I cannot explain. There are things that are bigger than anything I could possibly think up. Using them to my advantage is acknowledging that I am both supremely important and infinitely small. Something drives us forward, and I want to experience that Something.
What am I doing to work on overcoming any unrealistic expectations I may have about being restored to sanity? Being humble and realistic is key. My insanity is more than just my addiction, and having that sanity restored is a big order, involving lots of counseling and anti-psychotics. I won't overcome this just like that, or by myself.
What is my understanding of Step Two? Possibilities. Nothing I have to understand right at the moment, but I have to accept that there is something that can help me, and cares about my well being. What this thing is though, I am having a hard time defining.
How has my prior knowledge and experience affected my work on this step? If anything, it has hindered. I don't believe in a face in the sky that bears down on your sins and will send you to an awful place if you don't believe in him. That's bullshit. But unfortunately the Judeo-Christian pantheon fits a little too well in these steps. They were obviously written by Christians. But to take an alternative view on such things forces me to think, and hard, about what I believe and what I don't believe.
I have eight days clean today. Its rough, but I might be able to pull this off. I'm the Ghost on the Couch. I am aware. And now, motivated.
I won't let you fall apart