We made a decision to turn or will and our lives over to the care of the Goddess as we understood Her
What am I doing to reinforce my decision to allow my Higher Power to care for my will and my life? Offerings and meditations mostly. I keep having to remind myself that all the trials in my life are lessons waiting to be learned. And the learning never truly ends.
How does the Thrid Step allow me to build on the surrender I've developed in Steps One and Two? By defining what I believe to be a Higher Power (not THE Higher Power), I find it a bit easier to relate and abide by Her. There are many things that I don't know, and I'm beginning to accept the fact that I don't have all the answers, and I probably never will.
In what ways have I demonstrated willingness in my recovery so far? I still go to meetings every night I can. I keep an open mind, and listen carefully, even if it's some old guy that won't shut up for half the meeting. I'm reading a lot lately, and the more I look inward, the more I realize that surrender and willingness go hand in hand.
Am I fighting anything in my recovery? What do I think would happen if I became willing to let recovery prevail in that area of my life? I'm still not doing this for ME. I'm doing it for my children. If I cared enough about myself I would make myself a priority. I'm pretty sure once I let go of this delusion of martyrdom, I'll have no problem being "clean and serene."
How have hope, faith and trust become positive forces in my life? With this level of anxiety lately, these are calming words I can use to settle down and think (or not think). She sees All-That-Is, and can better guide me because Her view is not linear. Trusting in that is a monumental task, but one I am willing to undertake.
What further action can I take to apply the principles of hope, faith and trust in my recovery? Apply them to other areas in my life besides recovery. Recovery is a mountain on my plate right now, but there are certainly other slices of the pie to sample...
What evidence do I have that I can trust confidently in my recovery? Well I finally have thirty days, right??
What have I done recently that demonstrates my commitment to recovery and to working a program? I've accepted service positions for two meetings a week. If I could get the damn faub key from Justin then I won't have to call Elaine up to let us in the church. I'm working hard to accept responsibility; if I have that, I am more likely to follow through on my sobriety.
When the lights all went out we saw our lives on the screen. I hate the ending myself, but it started out with an alright scene...
~Ghost strikes again!