We were entirely ready to have the Goddess remove all our defects of character
List each defect and a brief description of it. Anger. I hate people. Disgust. I hate people. Withdrawal. I. HATE. PEOPLE.
In what ways do I act on these defects? I pull away from the people I know and love; the people that care about me and want me to succeed. I push them away to deal with things all by my lone self so no one else is burdened. I can handle this myself and I don't need your help, thank you very much.
When I act on these defects, what effect does it have on myself and others? I get lonely so I want to use. People think I don't care or are maliciously seeking to hurt them, when all I want to do is curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to be touched or talked to, but it's not like I'm trying to hurt anyone. Just leave me alone.
What feelings do I associate with these defects? Am I trying to surpress certain feelings by acting on a certain defect? Isolation, fear, loneliness, despair. I pull away and use so I don't have to deal with the world at large, which mostly sucks as it is.
What would my life be like without this behavior? Which spiritual principle can I apply instead? Perhaps it would be easier to trust and open up to people if I didn't put them through my tidal mood swings. I love you. I hate you. I need you. Get away from me. You complete me. Get out of my life. I need to be honest with myself. I need to be open to the fact that these people want to help me and have my best interests at heart. I need to be willing to accept the help that they offer.
The maelstrom of my life has struck a point of chaos within the storm. There is no eye, only hurricaine for miles. I have to believe that the storm will subside, but be ready to arm myself for battle and fight for what is mine. I am entitled to certain things. Not all things, but let this be known: hell hath no wrath like a mother scorned.
Will you bite the hand that feeds you? Will you stay down on your knees?