Step Eight: Making Our List and Becoming Willing

We Made a List of All Persons We Had Harmed and Became Willing to Make Amends to Them All

List the people I've harmed and the specific ways I harmed each one.
-My Mom; I've stolen and borrowed countless dollars from her
-Tristan; I misled him, even though I didn't mean to, and it led to an ugly situation
-Misty; I broke her and Tristan up. Though Tristan was largely to blame as well, I played my part.
-John; I broke him and Alisha up. Alisha definitely had her part in it, but I did nothing to stop it.
-Bill; I stole a handful of pills from him a while back.
-Peter; I should have said a lot more than I did to save our marriage.
-Dave; Even though breathing down my neck pushed me away, I could have handled his concern a lot better.
-Doug; He hurt me the most, but my negligence caused it.
-Blythe; she was the first to call me on my shit, and died very angry with me.
-Airian; I pushed her away a little too readily

Why is saying "I'm sorry" alone not sufficient to repair the damage I have caused? Words are cheap, especially from someone who has hurt you.

Why is only changing my behavior not sufficient to repair the damage I have caused? No one will gain closure from this. If there is one thing in my life that I crave the most, it's closure.

Do I have financial amends that I don't want to make? A few, I'm still dealing with National Grid down my throat, so that's ongoing.

What would my life be like if I had already made these amends? I wouldn't feel bad about spending money.

Do I owe amends to people who have also harmed me? You betcha.

What have I done to become willing to make these amends? Swallowed my pride, even in some situations that were only partially my fault.  Pride is that thing that gets in the way of my forgiveness. Me and forgiveness have a bumpy road together...